A True Love Letter

Who knew a little old fashioned love letter/want-ad taped to a payphone (which they still have; I actually used a couple of them lately = not fun) could attract so much attention. Is it bad of me to suggest that this is actually fitting since the type of woman he is looking for is most definitely using payphones? NOTTT! Well....shit. Now that I think about it, I don't know what a non-charging girl like this would be doing on the weekends. Or ever. Good luck Malik. You're going to need it! And yes, he's wearing a fanny pack. Ps. His interests are amazing; I love that favorite cars is separate from "other vehicles."














via Dlisted.com

Halloween post!

And people wonder why Halloween is my favorite holiday. This pretty much sums up everything I love about October, and maybe life in general. I actually just saw Belzer in a movie the other day (The Big Picture, 1989), so this must be fate. Either that, or he's sneaking up on us. Yes Belzer: sing it! This is what I get for following Ice-T on twitter, and oh how glorious it is. And don't ask me about that whole "one-toothed" vampire thing; I guess maybe Belzer sees it as an analogy for his own quasipotent life? Then again, it is a love song so I guess everything is working out as it should. Get those honies! And Happy Halloween!





And in case you were wondering what Richard Belzer looked like back in the day (ie 1978)....

The flight of Antoine Dodson never ends

The home intruder deterrent - glossy-haired word poet with pizazz continues his flight of glory. Here we see what technology can do for you! But seriously, I have no frickin' idea what this app does and I don't really care. I just hope it does well so that we can see more commercials like this! And don't worry America, the TV news is clearly not going anywhere. Because it's obvious that managing to get a 2 minute segment on your local news channel is still one of the most viable ways of achieving instant fame in the era of constant digital propagation. Dream on small town curiosity figures: your time is yet to come!

Screw You Science!

Here I was, minding my own business, relaxing on the pot (appropriate double entendre), and I realized that my own toilet paper was trying to brainwash me! In fact, it was so outrageous that I am addressing this letter to the kings of justice of my local school board. How dare Trader Joe's impose their evolutionary he-be-je-be 'not-of-Jesus' magic on me? That's right: there are DNA strands on my toilet paper! They're even wrapped around living things like butterflies and flowers so you know exactly what sorts of loveable lifeforms it's coding for! Preposterous I tell you! Or, as my favorite Southerny's would tell you, "it's just not possible." Screw You Science!

It all makes sense now....

I've clearly been doing almost everything wrong in my attempts to locate and be wooed by shirtless men named Dr. Francois. Let the awkwardly adorable Katherine, who is not afraid to use the phrase "Italian Stallion," and mean it, show you the way.

Arnold's not the only one!

Who knew Samuel L. Jackson was getting in politics? I mean, this dude is fierce. He is like a little old grandma getting ready to slap the silliness out of us. And that says a lot from the dude who stole Westinghouse's favorite party look! Keep it classy!

And so it begins....

Yes, it's only pop music. On the other hand, pop music basically rules the world at this point, so it makes this reinvention of the Singularity all that much scarier. Enjoy!

YES! of the day!

I'm sure we all remember back to the fabulousness of that "scrappy but lovable brother" incident that involved scaring off (and telling off) a breakin-cracky. Well, as I mentioned yesterday, this is the 21st century, people! And that means that a local news story with character = autotuned youtube video = performing at the fucking BET Hip-Hop Awards yo! Yes! That's all it takes! And weirdos wonder about that whole **balloon boy thing. I love how totally not stealing the spotlight Antoine is. He could have been up there like he was never going to see another camera in his life! But no. Antoine knows that the people love him. And there is no need to hurry. And by hurry I mean try and get as much attention as possible in as little time as possible. Nope Nope. Keep it cool. And keep it shiny!


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Good Morning Sunshine!

Yes, my friends, there is still hope in this here 21st century. The outcasts will rise and instant global proliferation of images means that people who might never have been noticed can now unite the world in harmony and awe. Okay, that's a little grandiose, but it's not like I'm talking about Jersey Shore here. Besides, as an evolutionary anthropologist, I got to give major props for making us remember how opposable our feet used to be. Keep rocking!