Wednesday, August 15, 2012

And who says you can't learn things from Fox News?...

Not me!! I learned a new word from them today: cyncical.

Let me put it in a sentence:

Robert Pattinson shows chilling range in bleak, cyncical 'Cosmopolis'

Here are some other examples:

- i tried to be cyncical but i have too much hope (via Tumblr)

- How cold and cyncical characters can succeed: Work in advertising!

- Cyncical Thoughts of a Pessimistic Bitch

Or my favorite****:
This is why I am cyncical about getting facts and information from Fox News.

Oooh, I like that one..

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Broadcast Bitchiness - CBS v. ABC

This is pretty amazing. Now, I am the first to admit that Colbert and The Onion have become my primary means of news intake - not sad, but very true.  It looks like CBS is following suit, because after a legal battle over some shitty reality show (The Glass House) that is a ripoff of some other shitty reality show (Big Brother), they have decided to draw a very mockingly hilarious line in the sand:

Los Angeles, June 21, 2012 – Subsequent to recent developments in the creative and legal community, CBS Television today felt it was appropriate to reveal the upcoming launch of an exciting, ground-breaking and completely original new reality program for the CBS Television Network.
The dazzling new show, DANCING ON THE STARS, will be broadcast live from the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, and will feature moderately famous and sort of well-known people you almost recognize competing for big prizes by dancing on the graves of some of Hollywood’s most iconic and well-beloved stars of stage and screen.
The cemetery, the first in Hollywood, was founded in 1899 and now houses the remains of Andrew “Fatty” Arbuckle, producer Cecil B. DeMille, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Paul Muni, Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel, George Harrison of the Beatles and Dee Dee Ramone of the Ramones, among many other great stars of stage, screen and the music business. The company noted that permission to broadcast from the location is pending, and that if efforts in that regard are unsuccessful, approaches will be made to Westwood Village Memorial Park, where equally scintillating luminaries are interred.
“This very creative enterprise will bring a new sense of energy and fun that’s totally unlike anything anywhere else, honest,” said a CBS spokesperson, who also revealed that the Company has been working with a secret team for several months on the creation of the series, which was completely developed by the people at CBS independent of any other programming on the air. “Given the current creative and legal environment in the reality programming business, we’re sure nobody will have any problem with this title or our upcoming half-hour comedy for primetime, POSTMODERN FAMILY.”
“After all,” the spokesperson added, “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

Yes CBS, we are laughing. At you? with you?...what does it matter?
And i's okay CBS = because no one has taken you seriously for years now....

via Deadline

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Martians are here...

...and they have come to save Detroit. Also, I learned they don't take no orders from no woman. And they want to give the Polish their fair due.

But seriously, I love how fame whores try so hard to get on TV, and it only takes this nutbag 10 minutes of crazy to make the national rounds. Or, as the top youtube comment says...

"Why the fuck is this news? Oh, dude dropped some logs, HURRY GET THE FUCKING CAMERA, THIS IS BREAKING. Fuck you humanity."

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The unthinkable catcopter... truly is unthinkable. Until you think about it, at which point you can't unthink it at all. Terrifying. NSFB - not safe for brain. It's sort of like when you find out that one of your most unlikely of friends used to be a stripper-prostitute, and you are disturbed. And maybe you forget about it, but each time you are reminded, it becomes, once again, the most terrifying thing you have ever heard. Catcopter - you are in a place few minds have gone before. The fact that I am proliferating this is a sure sign of the downfall of society, and I apologize in advance. But I can't help myself.....the disaster draws me in....

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Classiness of Cannes clearly epitomized by the hysterically CGI scene from Nicole Kidman's new movie, "The Paperboy." Now, while it's widely known that any movie Nicole Kidman decides to be in will most likely be a huge bomb, they keep casting her in things. And apparently they try and drag those movies to France and pretend like they are true pieces of cinema, or some shit like that. In this glorious movie that I'm pretty sure I will never, ever see, unless I just cannot, for the life of me, fall asleep on my next westbound flight, naked Zac Efron abounds - this is quite succinctly announced by the gay director, who says "What? He's hot!" But the deep levels of meaning don't stop there....see this amazingly descriptive paragraph of one of the film scenes, as told by

"Later in the movie, as Efron's romantic ardor for Kidman is at its peak, the two head to the beach, where he decides to cool down with a dip in the ocean. Naturally, he is attacked by CG jellyfish. (Only the sixteenth weirdest thing to happen in this movie.) Covered in sting marks, he barely manages to drag himself to shore, and when Kidman is alerted to the attack by some comely girls who surround Efron, she pushes them away, pops a squat, and out comes number-one. And yes, you get a close-up of the stream. This is a movie that often seems to be missing important transitional scenes or specific inserts, but you had better believe that when Nicole Kidman pees on Zac Efron, that camera is there."

Now I certainly have had a guy or two offer to pee on me, "just for medical reasons," but I don't know how I feel about this. Sounds like a gimmick to me. And not a very successful one since they are definitely going to have to edit out that scene for the plane...

And for some reason, when I searched for 'classy cannes,' it just kept wanting to direct me to 'classy canines.' So I'll roll with that....

Friday, May 11, 2012

Now this is how you shut a bitch down...

Man, Tamron Hall did not hesitate for a second in her brutal, fearless and domineering shut-down of Tim Carney during his MSNBC interview. It's a good thing his last name is Carney, because dayum, she made him look like a fool. Sing it sister! I'd be surprised if he got any serious gigs for a while since she pretty much made him look like a nasty, petty, blabbering idiot. And that's how you shut a bitch down. Where can I sign up for lessons?

mrfreedomdemocracy1 gives us the full scoop:

"For those who don't know the reason of this fight, Tim Carney started changing topic 10 minutes before talking about "silly war on women" and Tamron said don't you dare to call me silly on a such a sensitive topic. Then every time she asked different questons about Romney he attacked MSNBC (which actually pays his a good salary as opinionist) avoiding the answer.

ditto my zealous friend. ditto.

hmmm...i learn from my googling that not everyone was on her side....

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Music Video of the Day! Takeo Ischi - Bibi Hendl (2011)

That's right - you heard me - a Japanese yodeler! And like any self-respecting yodeler, Takeo is a weird old man who confuses the rest of the human race with his desire to seek fame through yodeling. Also, I have no idea what the chickens have to do with anything....I do know one thing for sure = Takeo can cluck with the best of them! I hope that this extremely bizarre music video makes the rounds, if only so that Takeo can check off what is clearly at the very top of his extra-crispy bucket list. Oh, and they definitely chose the right location to film this video, because only a cafe in Hell would condone this!  Thanks Takeo! Keep up the clucking good work!

And apparently the Germans know what's up, because Takeo's wikipedia profile has yet to make it to America....