Now, I'm not a fan of house music. Also the mob = they sort of rub me the wrong way. But the Swedes? Them I have no problem with. In a land of half naked women answering the door, artichoke roast beef ice cream and dog toilets, who can be anything but happy? Even if it is in a mildly delirious, get me out of this rain, sort of way? Well, since Wikipedia tells me that the Swedish House Mafia are, in fact, Swedish, I should be no kind of surprised that they are the makers of this bizarre yet epically cute music video. At first, I was worried that I was going to be watching another one of those back to high school, hero, violence, white dude, self-esteem music videos. But then it all became clear. O. M. G. Swedish House Mafia - thank you for both shocking me and make me whimper in delight. Oh the Awwwwww factor.
This post is brought to you fromdlisted.com - thank you for this amazing quote on Angelina Jolie's new movie:
"Angie is doing all of this to sell the shit out of that In the Land of Blood and Honey movie. She's flaunting it everywhere and I'm still not going to see it. Sorry. I wouldn't even see it if she renamed it In the Land of Nuttin' Honey and re-worked the plot to be about a couple going through a painful divorce because one of them answers "Nuttin' honey" to every single question the other one asks. Okay, I'd watch it then and only then." Amen brother.
Yes, it's true. I've been totally absorbed into the legacy of Los Gigantes, like any self-respecting SF resident these days. And with that comes a complete and utter obsession with Brian Wilson. So amazing! So quirky! Such a character! What is it that I have to do to get a date with him again?? Oh the dreams. Well, why is that beard such a symbol of all that is Giant and Great? This commercial pretty much sums it all up for me. Fear the Beard, bitch.
I'm also super excited for this Showtime series on the Giants called "The Franchise." The 30 minute preview got me all riled up. And made me fall ever more in love with the strangeness that is Brian Wilson. Oh Brian, take me home....
Wait a second: this is genius! Why didn't anyone think of it before? Rihanna has finally released a music video for an island song, and damn: she sounds amazing! It's like she was born on an island or something! My RiRi respect has definitely gone out the roof. Keep it up girl!
Wow. This is awful. When I predicted Lady Gaga's fall from grace, I never thought it would be so trashy. In fact, the only part of this video (or song for that matter) that I cared for, was the part when she wasn't singing at all. Mostly because seeing her get hit by that wave was pretty cool. Other than that...yuck. And why does she always take her clothes off? She just looks like some abuse survivor with her dirty cotton panties. It's actually creeping me out a bit. And wow. Could these lyrics be any worse? When a friend mocked Taio Cruz's "Dynamite" for the extraneous use of the word "sometimes" in the chorus, I was a little hurt inside. But now I can counter with the even more useless inclusion of not 1, but 2 place-filling "baby"s in Gaga's chorus. And she calls herself an artist? Perhaps if she started dating Joaquin Pheonix, I would be slightly more interested in her arts and crafts projects....
Wow. Everything about this video is completely amazing. This is pretty much why video was invented: so we can look back on things like this and ask what crazy chain of events could have possibly led to such a bizarre circumstance. I only have one question: which one is his wife?
Wow. So-called "haute-couture," much like the pop music of today, has really gone above and beyond the point of irony. This collection from Louis Vitton's Paris show pretty much epitomizes everything that is currently hideous about fashion. Look at these models!!! They don't even look like women, for one; they are more like androgynous toads that have fused with planks of wood. And the outfits are certainly not doing them any favors!!!! I have long pondered on how powdered wigs, in the style of Fisher's runaway selection, could have evolved out of the primordial fashion ooze (okay okay, so pretty much the same as today: they were copying a celebrity). I mean, they look ridiculous! And everyone wears one and acts like it's normal! In fact, I wish I owned one now! But still.... = the curious case of fugly fashion.
Hey hey. So I thought I would throw my two cents into the ring about Gaga's new video before it was all anybody was talking about. Or before they forget it exists. It's a tough window really. Ok, wtf? Bad timing Gaga, because Ke$ha just had unicorns in her video that came out like last week, so that sucks. Yeah, it was just a little piece, but unicorns are unicorns. And just for the record, NPH pretty much unicorned us at for the last decade, so did we really need to start that up again so soon? Also, it seems pretty clear that Gaga did not write that monologue in the beginning. I mean, I'm not convinced that she had ever heard the words, "mitosis, temporal, infinite, pendulum or unwaveringly" before this video. Either that or her transmogrification into Madonna comes complete with early onset of 'I'm going to speak with an accent so people forget I'm American," disease. And wait? Is it okay to say Orient again? I guess I missed that memo. On one final and resounding note: can I just say...there is absolutely zero way to take her message of compassion and self-love seriously when she is prancing around in lingerie trying to show off her new "I'm famous now" figure. Or is this some sort of James Franco/Joaquin Pheonix practice in tomfuckery? Ok wait. I take it back. She's been dressing like a slut forever...
Peace and Love, Tesla
Update: I was right! She hadn't heard those words before! As MTV so helpfully points out, her monologue is pretty much plucked from the mind of some other crazy who probably doesn't even realize he's being exploited since she paid him in crazy snacks and iguanas....
Denny Brewer: Deep-fried Texas musician/oddball who, along with his son, plays in the band Refried Ice Cream. In recent weeks, Brewer has risen to fame thanks to his recorded ramblings about alternate dimensions, phase-shifting, lizard people and pomegranates that serve as the through-line to Bright Eyes' The People's Key album. Much of what Gaga declares in her "Manifesto of Mother Monster" is lifted from Brewer's playbook: a "mitosis of the future," a "multiverse" and the constantly changing concepts of "temporal" and "eternal." via MTV.com
Yes, you read that right. A Philadelphia vampire turned the tables on Wells Fargo recently when he took them to court for not answering his letters and then tried to foreclose on their building when they ignored court-ordered payment and sheriff's mandates. This story is amazing. Mostly because this video is so freakin' boring. Here I am listening to it in the background and it could be any-old silly news story. But then I look at the image and BAM! it's a vampire!!! I had no idea that the level of political correctedness and tolerance had reached such a high in this country! It's actually a little inspiring. Because I'm pretty sure this could have never happened 10 years ago. Or could it? I'll have to think about it. Either way, as dlisted.com says, "My favorite part is that the reporter dude is never like, "Why the fuck are you wearing fangs?!" Not only has the vampire vs. banks war started off with a bang (or should I say, fang), but this is a giant step forward for vampire and human relations!"
Apparently of all of the god-forsaken things to be causing a stir about, a black woman wearing black-face is right up there at the top. Yes, that's right....: Beyonce is black. If anything, it seems like people should be uppity about how she's slowly morphing into Christina Aguilera in her spare time. I mean, I think it's weirder to see a black woman wearing white-face than black-face, but that's just me. Or what about those strange hotel commercials where the black man is incapable of swimming or riding a horse or figuring things out? But no. And who was saying that fashion doesn't have power....?
Poor poor Britney. This video was like an epically terrifying depiction of our current media culture. At least, that's the feeling I'm walking away with.... The whole 5 times I could see Britney's face in this video, she just looked like a little girl who has been locked in the closet for years. Have you ever seen such a look of soul-crushing sadness? And not only is the theme of the video about pimping her out, but you've got blatant product placement left and right. I mean...let's face it. She wasn't even there when they made this video. Or this song. Her body might have been there, but geeze....I'm pretty sure her mind has been gone for a long time....I'm totally getting some Interstella 555 vibe here.....
First Madonna, now Cameron. What is his end-game here? Is he secretly trying to take down the society of sexy blondes in Hollywood? Because it's working. He wasn't ever connected with Renee Zellweger was he....? He's really not helping the twink rumors here...I'm just sayin'...
Man oh man! It's nice to see that after all those ridiculous pop performances, the Grammys was able to actually produce not one, but 5 insanely talented female singers. Whew! For a second there I was worried that pop was trying eliminate the power of the vixen vocal altogether. But no! A light shines! This tribute to Aretha gave me hope, courage, and I may have stood up in my room clapping. But seriously! Preach it girls, Preach it!
Just take a look at this righteous granny who managed to singlehandedly take down a thieving mo-ped gang. Either they didn't want to hurt her or they were genuinely just so confused that they ran away. Score one for old people. I love how the rest of the crowd waited until she had kicked their asses to jump in and help. I also love that she saw this happening from a block away and was like, "oh man, time to check 'foiling a group of rowdy masked bandits of my bucket list!" This one is a toast to the grandmas.
Don't worry. Reports of Bieber-fever and Balloon-boy brewhaha as signs of the next apocalypse shouldn't bring out all the worry-warts quite yet. As I've just learned, people have been exploiting children in the pop business for decades. This poor kid, Jordy, was so musically abused in early-90's France that the government actually had to put a ban on his broadcasts as a form of child services! Olsen-mothers of the world, take note! You haven't done nearly enough until a whole country thinks you've gone too far! Jordy's family also opened up a themed petting zoo where he may or may not have been the main attraction. Later in life, Jordy was also accused of using very hip homeless as backup dancers in his band. Man, the things one kid has to go through. And who says life can't be stranger than fiction?
Ps. that balloon kid was some Piltdown shit all over again!
And here folks, is our daily proof that low-budget, independent can still be damn funny. Yes siree, I'm talking about this outlandishly hilarious Winnipeg Humane Society commercial advertising "Kitty Midnight Madness," but actually just trying to get you to adopt an animal. Who knew that Canadians were so funny?
Man oh man. Remember the days of girls wearing boy haircuts and ugly sweaters? When having contrasting patterns on screen simultaneously just made things look "flashy"? How about the days when the internet was just the beginning of the end? I've definitely started to feel a little old since some of my roommates barely even remember life before aol.....This is a glorious throwback to a golden age. And I'm pretty sure that most people could still only get about that far into a definition of the internet today. Even though it's practically unavoidable and impossible to live without. Ah, the wonder. Who knows where we'll go next...
...this video is pretty damn amazing. "Keeping your refrigerator stocked will get you many women." This dude totally knows what's what! Have you ever seen such a fabulously elaborated plan? And without any creep factor! I mean....come on; why isn't this already an SNL skit? Too good. And the kool-aid is golden. Stick through the first couple of minutes = trust, it's worth it.
In an effort to find some sort of cuddly replacement for the rascally Knut now that he's grown up into a slightly more man-eating sized animal, the Germans have quite cleverly elected Heidi, the cross-eyed opossum. And by cleverly, I mean creepily. Creepiest of all is this paper-animated video and song dedication that I can only hope confuses film students for decades to come. Half way through, I hit myself on the forehead asked the universe what I'm doing here.
This is one is for all those folks out there that are under some strange impression that homeless people are always crazy, uneducated and looking to eat brains. This dude is more articulate than most of the kids in my upper-division smarty-pants classes! And he is totally correct: that is the golden voice of radio if I've ever heard it. But don't worry....in this day and age of totally crazed internet users, Ted the Bushman has already scored a sweet deal to serenade the world with his vocal-cords of victory. Now if only we could get those locks of love a prime-time spot of glory....Come on people!: Grunge is in again; I so want to see this dude in the next season of Burberry ads!
UPDATE: Ted Williams has already recorded his first commercial, and damn it sounds smooth. Yay internet!
This may or may not be the most amazing thing to come out of China in a while. I'm not sure why they want to give 12-year-olds bigger breasts, but apparently they have found a way! I especially love the science behind it. And how sad they seem as flat-chested flimsies! I certainly don't have any attention of creating milkshakes for the masses, but I guess whatever works.....Talk about distraction mode!
And because I thought it was awesome......
I would recommend watching this video simultaneously with this Passion Pit song (thanks to my bro for the info). Because organic mashes cannot be denied!
Swedish House Mafia are, in fact, Swedish, I should be no kind of surprised that they are the makers of this bizarre yet epically cute music video. At first, I was worried that I was going to be watching another one of those back to high school, hero, violence, white dude, self-esteem music videos. But then it all became clear. O. M. G. Swedish House Mafia - thank you for both shocking me and make me whimper in delight. Oh the Awwwwww factor.
