Music Video of the Day

Wow, who knew that Christians had a sense of humor? That's right, this music video comes straight from the hood of Tulsa, OK. The Church on the Move to be more precise. No, I have no idea what that means. They appear to have only a single location and my preliminary investigations showed no evidence of excessive televangelism/traveling preacher shows. So we can rule that out. Although, the whole setting up giant circus tents in the desert to writhe around the floor while screaming "Jesus!" and "Hallelujah!" does have its advantages. But these appear to be just regular Christians, albethem Christians who have realized the power of YouTube and have every intention of capitalizing on it. So, enjoy. Laugh a little. Enjoy the simple life of the Midwest. And remember, every neighborhood has its pimp....






Oh, and I definitely got this video off of Ice-T's YouTube channel (via twitter). Yay Ice-T!

It's a sad day when....

...You're outdanced by an 80 year old man. Of course, I'm always feeling outdanced, but seriously, I broke into a panting sweat just watching this guy! Where did he get moves like that? And where can I find a bar so deliciously elegant, tolerant and filled with white hicks? Extra props go to the young strapping lads that tried to make it a conga line by joining in. They pull off many of the moves, but in a haphazard way that makes that dude's artificial hips all the more impressive. Dayum, I hope he's gettin' laid tonight!



For extra measure, here is this amazing high school "body popping" competition that has been making the rounds. Whitey over there is like some sort of boneless snake freak who can move his body in ways I never thought were possible. What I would do for some mystical dancing shoes....Oh, and this was shot in 2001 which explains the ridiculous outfits (right?). It's amazing how video cameras (or phones) may be so much more portable than in the 90's, and yet we are left with the same quality. Ah, technology.

Music Video of the Day

You know, everyone is always going back and forth about which pop stars (cough cough Xtina) are imitating Lady Gaga in their music videos in an attempt to be fashionable. The Gaga has certainly rocked the American fashion world with her outrageous gettups. But the real question is, who has Lady Gaga been ripping off? While Madonna might be the first and most obvious answer, I provide here another contender. Hailing from my bloodland of Macedonia, this transgendered pop star has clearly set the bar high with her amazing music video. Unfortunately, I was unable to find a single biography in English about Boki 13 (born Bojan Jovanovski) other than "Macedonian drag legend, TV host, musical superstar and fashion icon." And she may or may not be 24. Luckily, I can let this piece of art speak for itself. Suck it Gaga. To be fair, it also seems like Rihanna and JLo may have hijacked some fashion moves as well...

Ad of the Day

The saddest thing about this advertisement, and this is pretty much is as sad as it can get, is that I bought it. That's right, the queen of skeptics and empress of lambasting advertisements actually watched to the end of this bs-fest and craved information about the product. Shoes? Shiny Cars? What fine feature of the consumer world can offer the unofferable and provide knowledge about the unknowable? What is it that can give us truth? Apparently the answer is scientology. Yes, super creepy. I actually saw this while thousands of feet above the Pacific Coast, on TNT no less. I can only hope that this ad made it past the hundreds of others vying for primetime L&O space purely because it was accompanied by the trailer for that new Tom Cruise movie that I have little to no interest in seeing. However it got there, it did it's damage. And it was damaging. I guess when you're trying to trick people into paying for some crazy theories about aliens while maintaining a presentable face and secretly controlling the largest media entity in the world (that's Hollywood folks), campaign strategy is pretty high on the "to-do" list. Mistakes like these happen to the best of us....right? To quote the most epic of children's songs....
"and I hung my head and cried."

What else are obsessive Star Trek fans good for?

Well, I least I never again have to feel guilty about not watching the t.v. show, because this maniacal fan has clearly cut out all of the most delicate and elegant scenes for us to enjoy in concert with Ke$ha's annoying popular Tik Tok. That's right, apparently Hollywood has been getting crunk for longer than most STD riddled teenie-boppers would ever care to believe.







I thought I'd also include this amazing mash-up that I have heard praised on shallow celeb sites and independent radio stations alike. That's right, some genius has not only realized that all (in this case 2010) pop songs sound the same, but they can be pieced together into an awesome piece of art that epitomizes the bland vulgarity of the contemporary popular music scene. All praise the music machine.

Music Video of the Day

Man oh man. This heart-stopping music video had 19k views last night when I first watched it, and this morning it's at 30k views and counting. These views are definitely deserved. And this glorious work of art is why Youtube was invented. This video is clearly a piece of modern art for the ages if you ask me (which is why people never do). I believe the scientific term for a song as such is "Ho Anthem." That's right, working girls know how to rap too. Better yet, they know what to rap about. The best thing about this video (besides the character Smokahontas Jones, the tiny tricks, the booty sparkles and the all around low-budget beauty of this gem) is how progressively liberal it is. I count PSA's left and right. These girls (right?) are telling us what's real. And I'm with them! They're pro-legalized prostitution (obviously), pro-legalized marijuana, and they're even pro-gay rights! It's never good when I'm thinking to myself, "that Miami chick, Smokahontas Jones, would probably make a pretty good politician." Take a page out of this notebook Sarah Palin. Maybe if you were more upfront about the dicks you were sucking to get where you are, people would be more supportive!

Oh Hollywood....

Today's kudos go out to the lovely Lupe Ontiveros. And don't be fooled by her name (AZ hicks), because she's a bonafide born in the U.S.A. citizen. And an actress at that! This mamacita has been in more movies and t.v. shows than even I could hope to watch, and trust me, that's saying something. Her lupeliciousness has graced everything from Cheech and Chong's Next Movie to The Goonies. In fact, she played "Gregor's maid" in Universal Soldier. And don't give me this, well she plays a maid because she's probably not a good actress crap. According to Lupe, she has played a maid over 150 times in her career. Now, if that's not typecasting, I don't know what is. In fact, that may be the saddest thing I've read in Hollywood news today. And people say that Latinos are underrepresented in Hollywood... They're not underrepresented, they're just in the background dusting something! All I can say is....I hope this coming decade means less hate on the Latinos and more sexy abuelitas playing non-maid characters in big-budget films....




Original Video- More videos at TinyPic

One idiot yelling at another...

Wow - what a bunch of winners. While watching this absolutely pathetic video of a drunken college chick barreling through a toll fast enough to score some serious air, I was struck by the elegance of the typical U.S. citizen. At the airport no less. I'm just sad they don't show the part where she tries to get back into the burning vehicle. Apparently, it is actually possible to jump another car leapfrog style and still walk away from the landing zone = yay safety!



The worst part is this first comment I ran into at the bottom of the page. Since the chick's name is Yasmine Villasana, some ignorant fuckhead took the opportunity to comment on the immigration issue at hand:

Submitted by Dallas on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 6:12pm.
Yes, come on over the border to Texas, and we will give a driver's license, set you up on welfare, pay ALL your medical bills (and ALL your babies), set you up on Section 3 housing and hell, we will even give you free fucking food to eat! Pfffttt!
I don't know what this Mexican was on however, she is still sitting in jail. If ICE deports her, she will be right back only this time, she'll have to walk!

Yes, people. Aren't you proud to be an American? Doesn't sound like there should be any problem with stereotyping or racial profiling regarding this law at all..... Speaking of fuckheads who support 1070, I ran across this truly disturbing footage of a pro-nationalist rally in the grand state itself...What does abortion have to do with this again?

UPDATE: And just when you thought things couldn't get worse....

Prescott, Ariz., elementary school to 'whiten' image of child in mural

And this is why (anchor)men aren't in charge of not being douchebags....

This sexist comment by a CNBC anchorman is really outta left field. Pun intended. That's right: see how a short baseball segment and discussions of bad-call forgiveness can lead to a dastardly old white man saying things that should have gone out of style with the mandated-corset. Go news!